Positive parenting is not exactly a new
concept, but it's been getting more popular in recent years. This is the type
of parenting that focuses on rewarding good behavior rather than punishing
unwanted behavior.
The key to this type of parenting is to go out
of your way to notice it when your child does something you like. Too many
parents simply take this for granted, and only pay attention when the child
acts up in some way.
Suppose, for example, that you have told your
five-year-old son to put his toys away. Yet he has only put away a couple of
them, leaving the rest in the middle of the room. Rather than scolding him
about the toys he hasn't put away, praise him for the ones that he has cleared.
You might say something like, "Look how nice that toy looks on its shelf.
Wouldn't it be great if all of them were nice and neat like that?"
There will be times when you get frustrated
with your child's behavior. This is normal, and no parent can be 100% positive
all the time. There are also times when a child has to be disciplined. Contrary
to what some people believe, positive parenting isn't the same thing as
permissive parenting.
The difference is that with positive parenting,
you don't focus on punishment or try to scare the child into obeying. You
communicate with him or her as a fellow human being and explain why something
has to be done a certain way.
Threats and fear-based punishment may seem to
work in the short term, but in the long run the child will only learn to be
more clever about not getting caught when he or she disobeys. Research actually
shows that positive parenting is more effective at developing healthy and well
adjusted children than other methods.
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